When I post about the Lovers card on the forum, I generally say the card doesn't mean a lover or a "soulmate" but instead is referring to choices. However, when I got my Llewellyn deck and book out to spend some time with them a couple days ago, the book does say the Lovers card has to do with actual lovers, so in the case of this particular deck, I'll respect the creator of the deck by using it as a card that depicts an actual romantic relationship. However, I'll still need to explore the cards surrounding that card to see what it really does refer to in the spread because the 2 of Cups or that one plus a couple more will seal the deal on the exact meaning within that spread.
Lately we've had discussions going on the forum about what the term "soulmate" means. I don't believe in the concept that there's just one person in the whole world who is meant to be in a love relationship with us but I can use the term sometimes when meaning someone who is so strongly compatible with a person that there doesn't seem to be any possibility of another relationship that could equal it when speaking of a love relationship. There are deep and binding relationships we can have with friends or family members that could also be "soulmate" connections. I personally believe in reincarnation and I believe we may run across other spirits throughout our lifetimes which are so close that, for lack of a better one-word description, would be thought of as soulmate connection. When I use the term, though, it's not always meant in the romantic sense.
My late husband and I had that kind of relationship. I've never remarried and haven't even dated, but I'm 70 years old and even though I lost him when I was 55 which is kind of young to be a widow, I've just never felt a desire to form any other love connections of that kind. For about the last 15 years as a widow, I like being single.
So anyway, let me give some examples of what would convince me that a "soulmate" connection was made. I'll use the Llewellyn deck as an example since it's a deck that specifically uses the Lovers card to mean a romantic relationship.
Let's say that Mz. Ima Impatient asked for a reading and her question was whether Mr. Slipperyslope was her "soulmate" in the romantic sense. The cards drawn were the Lovers, the 2 of Cups, 9 of Cups, 9 of Swords and the Fool. In the Llewellyn deck, the Fool is portrayed as Paredur. Paredur was a couple of sandwiches short of a picnic, but he wanted to be a Knight so he just got busy doing the things he was told that a knight does and he went on to become one of the best knights at the roundtable against all odds. He was like the bumblebee. Aerodynamically speaking, a bumblebee can't fly but nobody sent him the memo, so bumblebees are flying all around the world to this day. In light of today's discussion of soulmates on AT, this would not be a soulmate connection if I were using a RWS or another deck that doesn't specifically refer to love. Given that I'm using the Llewellyn and that more than just the Lovers card is present that's associated with love in a reading (2 of Cups), I'm seeing that this spread does speak of a soulmate love connection.
However, it's still about choices:
1. The choice to become love partners with another human being.
2. The choice to accept them warts and all and vice versa.
3. The choice to brave the rough going that may lie ahead, especially if one or both partners is also married to someone else.
